today

today i had fewer ideas than yesterday, but th eone idea i did have might be better than all of th ether ones ive had recently.

an aside to this - my swede hasnt been in touch. this is upsetting. it would be nice to hear from her - and the memory of her is starting to fade - that might be a coping mechanism, but nonetheless. she has been online in the last couple of hours.

That means she has read/seen my message - but she hasnt replied to it.

what a to do.

OK so back to my idea.

Mundane things. Explained.

How about it? Its not like you are thinking - mundane things explained so you can understand them better - no - its more like, mundane things described. sounds like its getting more boring by the minute doesnt it.

well its not.

For example: consider the following.

A photograph of Charlotte.

"this is charlotte"

A photograph of charlottes bedspread.

"this is charlottes bedspread"

A photograph of me pointing at CJ

"charlottes got a lovely taste in bedspread"

A photograph of charlottes bedspread.

So on and so forth, Ad infinitum.

There is no end to the potential this has - i feel. but that may be because i only thought about it today.

Leastways, it could be a very long sketch from no material basis....helpful.

Time for a new post.

Reading steffis blog has inspired me.

I have to write stuff.

We liked the idea of the counsellor ignoring the client and singing a song - when the client mentioned stress or upset using a particular sentence, and the counsellor singing the song it comes from.

god that sounds like a laugh.

actually havent had much of a laugh today.

had the idea of publishing me and richards emails as a blog

i wonder how many people have thought of doing that.

ill ask him again next time i get the chance.

Thinking a lot about going down on suzie today. kind of feel its an opportunity missed............shall i call her and do it again. morally something is in my way.

what a to do.

So. anything funny happened to me recently. apart from almost falling off my bike, and the little scrabbling thing that my foot does when i have to pull away from the lights fast, then no....i think the sight of me on the bike is quite an amusing one. the helmet is big, it makes my head look enormous. i cant look cool with it.

my hair looks proper shit at the moment, incidentally. so in a way its good that i have the helmet. when i finish my morning cycle i get to work and do a swish of my hair because it makes me feel like the woman on the loreal advert. well no its not becuase of that that i do it, but i do look like her. thats for sure.

the other day i did it when i got to waterloo to get the train - and i swished away, thinking, "people must love me - so natural, so active, so healthy" - and a really pretty girl next to me went, "eurggh", becuase id sprayed her with sweat from my head-shake.

in hindsight i should have pretended i had learning difficulties or a nervous twitch, that would have garnered some sympathy.

do you know that in denmark, disabled people are entitled to free visits from prostitites to satisfy the basic human right "to sexual relationships". I personally feel this is the way forward. Poor little sods - if they can knock one out, do it for them. In a way i feel like it might be quite fun for a prosititute to have a disabled client - break up her day a bit.

No?

Ok.

sometimes you should keep your mouth shut. this was not one of those times.

whilst massaging bio-yoghurt into my thrush infected arse this weekend, i felt all of a sudden that i had once again drilled beneath the surface of low.

there is, however, something content about my feelings now.

i have to change a few things and make myself well again.

diet - give up dairy, wheat, alcohol, excess sugars. Take in more fibre, more vegetables and clean spring water. No more tap for me.

lifestyle - cycling everyday. tai chi in the mornings.

career - write comedy for an hour a night. perhaps thats too much . write one good radio show a week. write a bit of comedy every day in my book. take a weekend day to do both. maybe saturdays. but im losing them soon. an hour a night then? two nights a week. three? 2. book a gig. do the gig. make people laugh out loud with real stuff, real enough to make them laugh properly, not that shit way people laugh.

sex life - speak to one woman a week. give up porn unless its necessary. limit myself to once a week. no. just trying to keep away from it.

languages - practice german by translating. speak to germans in german. find a club. try italian again...spanish....no italian first i think.

anyway, these things. do they need to be talked about? the rubbing yoghurt into my arse did. it cracked jason and magnus up. that makes it worth it, right? I own it that way? or do i? just because i tell it, doesnt mean i own it. blah. not important. more important are the laughs.

Alihandra suggested putting a potato up my arse to ease the sore of the thrush.
The woman in the apoticket, who i laughed at whíle i told her i thought i had haemmaroids, told me that to have fungal infection in this place needed a cream from a doctor.

alihandra mentioned it was important to cut the potato in half, and to peel it first.
this was the first time i had met alihandra, magnus girlfriend who cant speak any english. magnus translated first for me, when i mentioned my discomfort, and next for her, with her peruvian remedy.

i felt like telling the girl behind the counter in macdonalds. the truth is sometimes the funniest thing going. its better than silence.

jason is reading now.i could push him out the window. i didnt manage to get the ice cream into his face earlier, so that would at least make up for that.

oh i look forward to writing this more regularly.
can i garauntee it will happen...

No.

love

inktomike